*HTML is OFF *UBB Code is ON Smilies Legend
Smilies Legend
If you have previously registered, but forgotten your password, click here.
T O P I C R E V I E WLightLifeLoveWhile I do feel silly posting this as a long-time lurker, I could really use some insight. Any help, whatever it may be, would be appreciated. My emotions are leaking and you'll quickly see from my chart that this is uncomfortable territory for me - so I'm seeking out wisdom in the hopes that it'll soothe my heart.I was seeing this man for approx. 6 months. Our connection was solid from the jump - not quite intuitive, but very much in sync. While we had constant, vibrant conversations, we also managed to communicate so much without words. We were building an intense connection, seeing each other every other day, chatting constantly, layering our communications with subtlety, inside jokes and associations only the two of us could truly appreciate. Our connection began to degrade towards the end of summer, while he was at home on vacation (not from this country originally). We went from daily contact to days without speaking, and while I was patient during his time away, the distance continued even after he came back. It reached a boiling point and I broke things off upon his return, out of hurt and frustration because he was pulling away. We reconciled days later. Unfortunately, things never went back to the way they were - he cited personal issues with his family as the cause of his distance, but when I asked him to be open with me, to let me in so I could be there for him, he wouldn't. His fall-back left me exhausted (physically and mentally) - I told him I needed a time out and now, two+ weeks later, we've not spoken or had any contact and are both "on the market" on dating apps. I was on first. He joined last week. I see the obvious parts. I see the venus/uranus trends dancing about our charts, a sun/merc conjunction and the saturn/sun DW++. I know why I can't seem to get my stubborn heart to release the one part that clings to him - I know it astrologically, and from common sense, considering that I was beginning to fall in love with him. My Cappy moon is desperate to just process, rationalize, and move it along. To the public eye, I am as unbothered as he also appears to be - but inside, I feel so deeply rejected and like I wasted half a year...for what?I'm trying to find my lesson - but I can't seem to pinpoint it. If anyone would be willing to help me unpack things, objectively look at our charts and see what I may not...or even give some insight into sun/saturn connects, I'd be so grateful. I'm honestly a little worried about getting over this one, because I know what saturn can do...and I'd like to work with it instead of against it, for my own good. This feels just ever-so-slightly harder than past break-ups, and it scares me a little.Many, many thanks in advance to everyone who reads and/or responds <3 This forum has always served as a wonderful resource, and I'm hoping it can help me on a personal level, now that I am finding myself unable to see the forest for the trees. My Chart: https://i.imgur.com/oJttFtR.gif His Chart: https://i.imgur.com/szm0aoU.gif Synastry (I'm inside, he's out): https://image.ibb.co/ddbT36/astro_61gr_anonymous_anonymous_74167_27283.gif Composite: https://image.ibb.co/g0m6qm/astro_62gr_anonymous_anonymous_74346_28441.gif Davison: https://image.ibb.co/ks6vi6/astro_64gr_anonymous_anonymous_74364_29588.gif (edit: can't forum correctly; still attempting to fix images...)astrosazI'm still learning about astrology so I usually only offer advice on synastry aspects I have felt myself but I don't think that be much help here as I don't see where the red flags could be as you are both heavily sag/cap influenced people which would suggest simpatico... It could be the sun/saturn thing (I have this with someone but I haven’t seen how it plays out yet) which seems to be an aspect which people either love or hate. I don't know much about transits (I'm sure other people on LL could maybe help you with that?) He may be going through a tough transit that caused him to change when he got back from visiting home (Also Mars in his 4th house usually means turbulent home life, I have this and it’s true). The only problem with that theory is if he is going through a tough transit why would he be on a dating website instead of either patching things up with you or not joining and focusing on himself if he’s going through personal issues. He has Mercury in Scorpio (myself and two of my best friends have this, we are extremely private when it comes to our own struggles) it’s also his chart ruler which you don’t aspect – I have no idea if this is significant or not. You have Mercury in extremely honest and wise Sagittarius so you want him just to be straight up with you but it's not that easy for him. I think you should post his natal chart and that may give a clearer indication on his approach towards love and relationships and others will be able to give you a clearer indication of where things started to slide.There are some things I see that I really like for example Mars and Mercury in the 5th house, very fun loving and childlike and both Mars’ conjunct too which I’ve read is a good thing. Moon conjunct Venus, Venus conjunct Neptune, Moon conjunct neptune very dreamy and unconditional love placements. I have no idea why things could have cooled down all of a sudden, I guess it happens sometimes that it starts hot and exciting and then all of a sudden it cools down. The fact he only started to change once he got back from visiting home gives me reason to believe that something may have happened there and if he is going through family troubles it may take him a while to process it and get over it until he is back to his old self with you. If you really like/love him maybe, you should message him unless you are completely convinced that it is over forever. I think he would be too stubborn to message you first. waxlobsterI'm quite interested in seeing the synastry charts here, since you've kindly shared the story. I presume they've been removed, but it would be good if you'd be willing to share the chart for a few days and give us a chance to view it. I'm thinking that there are some major transits involved. Do either of you have Saturn transiting a personal planet? Does Saturn rule any of your angles? The red flag I'm picking up *without* the charts is this, "I broke things off upon his return, out of hurt and frustration because he was pulling away."Not to say I don't understand this response, but it doesn't imply you are ready to risk opening your heart enough to be in a serious relationship right now. I would take a look at the blocks you have in yourself...? Most relationships have a reflective quality, which means that in effect it could be that it was your fears that really escalated when he was away and his distant behaviour was in response to that...?------------------blog: http://waxlobster.blogspot.co.uk/LightLifeLoveAstrosaz, thank you for your response. It was very kind of you to respond so quickly and I really appreciated having some outside thoughts to ponder last night. Although I can't seem to figure out how to get the pictures to show up directly, I've posted our natals as well, in my original post. quote:I don't know much about transits (I'm sure other people on LL could maybe help you with that?) He may be going through a tough transit that caused him to change when he got back from visiting home (Also Mars in his 4th house usually means turbulent home life, I have this and it’s true). The only problem with that theory is if he is going through a tough transit why would he be on a dating website instead of either patching things up with you or not joining and focusing on himself if he’s going through personal issues.From what he has said, he is definitely going through stuff. He won't share anything with me - rather, he didn't - no specifics aside from things going on with family back home. I do know he has Pluto grinding back and forth over his Ceres/Moon conjunction, I met him around his Saturn return and Saturn was also directly on his descendant at the time of our split. I cannot fathom why he would be on a dating website unless he really didn't care about me as much as I cared about him, or he's trying to rebound...but he's given no indication of being hurt by this at all and I assume it's the former. Even when I reached my breaking point and told him I needed a time out, it was all emotion from me (granted, it wasn't particularly...gushy...but I do know how to use my words) and he was like a rock. There were points when he seemed to be aiming for levity (we always enjoyed sharing memes with one another; he started sending them mid-conversation), but that just made me shut down the conversation entirely because it felt like he was being flippant and not taking me or the conversation seriously. Then...he just never came back. quote:If you really like/love him maybe, you should message him unless you are completely convinced that it is over forever. I think he would be too stubborn to message you first. This is tough for me. I want to be with him, but it's hard for to see a future with him if he can't let me in when he's struggling. I feel like trying to get him to connect pushed him farther away - so reaching out to him is risky because it would only compound the problem (he'd distance himself further...that's more rejection, more hurt, etc.). I'd take the risk if I knew he'd step up...but then it wouldn't be a risk. So now it's his stubbornness versus my fear :/ which is paralysing - I wouldn't even know how to begin to reconcile...LightLifeLoveThank you, waxlobster - and for letting me know my images were broken! I haven't figured out how to make them show up inline, but I've uploaded them to another host and added our natals for good measure. quote:I'm thinking that there are some major transits involved. Do either of you have Saturn transiting a personal planet? Does Saturn rule any of your angles?He's going through his Saturn return and Saturn just hit is descendant...plus Pluto has been backing up and going over his Moon/Ceres conjunction as well as some smaller hits on his IC as of late (Libra). I don't have any major-major transits at this point (I've been through the worst of my Saturn return, Saturn will be hitting my DSC but at the end of the calendar year, and Neptune will not stop squaring my Chiron/Venus opposition...) quote:I would take a look at the blocks you have in yourself...? Most relationships have a reflective quality, which means that in effect it could be that it was your fears that really escalated when he was away and his distant behaviour was in response to that...?My fears were and are absolutely inflamed by the situation, you're right - I did not feel secure enough in knowing he cared for me as much as I did for him. As difficult as it is for me, I made a point of being earnest and up-front about the sincerity of my feelings for him, right up and including our last conversation - I told him I liked him too much to have a half-assed connection. He was never especially demonstrative (physically or verbally) and it was the consistency of our connection that reassured me it was real. As soon as he became inconsistent, I panicked. I did make efforts (healthy and unhealthy) to bring us back together from the moment it started to slip, but it only seemed to push him away, and I did not feel like he made *any* attempt to join me in my efforts to get "us" back. My fear is the only thing that is stopping me from outright fighting for him - if I knew he cared at all and just needed me to be strong enough to pull it back together, I'd muster some courage, but it hurts enough and my doubts are loud enough that...I gotta say, I'm afraid to even try. LightLifeLove[deleted: able to get my photos to show up in the original post]waxlobsterOh LightLifeLove,You say you can't fathom how he could be on a dating site, and yet said that you joined a week before he did?Neither of you will be able to form a strong bond whilst you are indulging in this kind of competitive behaviour. Again I¡¦m not saying I don¡¦t get it, just that it¡¦s no basis for a supportive, loving bond.In truth though, Pluto transiting Moon-Ceres is not really the conditions in which one seeks love; rather it forms a backdrop for confronting ones biggest fears, hang ups and trust issues. I sense you already know this and that you miss him despite this, and I feel for you. He will be colder during his Saturn Return, Saturn conjunct Descendent looks at the necessity of bonds, rather than romanticising the potential. With Moon already in Capricorn, he¡¦s not one for fanciful notions; I like that you have Moon in the same sign but, as you know Neptune conjunct the Moon brings a very different flavour and vivid to your emotional world. Mars conjunct Mars is nice too, I like to see similarities in charts. Your Sun-Uranus conjunction is not known for its patience, but the double-whammy Sun-Saturn conjunction implies he¡¦s either around for a long time, or that the karma between you will impact you both in a way that you remember for the rest of your lives. You¡¦ve cited fears of your own and transiting Saturn is still conjunct your Sun, you are still working through whatever refinements Saturn has pushed upon your nature and the hangover of your Saturn return. Recently Chiron has gotten very close to squaring your ASC/DSC axis, and will return in the Summer of 2018. At this point you will probably have to face the fears you have mentioned, in actuality. Natally Chiron forms a close opposition to Venus in your chart, you fear confinement and restriction probably more than anything else. I would suggest you take up a meditation practise, or an activity which allows you gather a deeper understanding of your psyche. Moon-Neptune will take to meditation well; and I would imagine doing some past life regression type meditations will be fruitful for your 12th House Chiron. Indeed it could be that you have a career path as a regression therapist. ?For now I would try to shift your focus from this man and send him love. With Chiron making so many ripples to his angles & planets, along with Saturn and Pluto he¡¦s going to feel very alone and misunderstood. The best thing you can do for him is prove yourself to care about him, despite the nature of your relationship. In the long run your friendship will be the most valuable connection you could have offered.Saturn transits pass, but Sun-Saturn conjunctions do not and there is a good chance you two will choose to (or be forced to!) stay in one anothers¡¦ lives for a good while, so laying the foundations of trust and kindness are your best priority right now ƒº------------------blog: http://waxlobster.blogspot.co.uk/LightLifeLoveWaxlobster, thank you. I spent a good amount of my evening reflecting on your words and what they brought up. I feel as though I'm dealing with a lot of concurrent flows of energy (the breakdown of a relationship that was special to me, the deeper issues it brought to light, and trying to move on from all of it in a healthy way), which is a lot to take in but the moment of honest consideration was a gift and I appreciate your part in it. It showed me where I needed to slow down and pause for deeper reflection. It highlighted where I am most hurt by this loss. Ego hits. I don't handle 'em very well...I feel a lot of grief, guilt, and anger (at him, at me, at things I'll never know). I still don't understand how all that was good could have turned bad - I don't have all the facts and that is so difficult for me. I suppose even the positive things I see in our charts could work against us, where buttons could be pressed. I imagine there are some transits (and some conditions in life) that just don't allow for happier endings. Maybe the heavier aspects just outweighed the lighter ones, when push came to shove. Your comments on the difficulty of transits helped expand my perspective on some of the reasons this may have happened. I guess I just wish we were both strong enough to weather the storm, together.The idea that he could be very alone and misunderstood is heartbreaking. Although we live very close to each other, I've never run into him and have no social ties that will result in me seeing him again. During my reflections, I sent as much loving, healing energy as I could to him. I asked the universe to support him through whatever darkness cast its shadow over our time together. I want him to be loved. I hope he finds what he needs right now. I don't know if our connection is still strong enough for any of this to reach him, but I hope it does.I know this separation is still relatively fresh - Oct 5, full moon (I didn't want to be an astro stereotype, but here we are...). The idea that we could be in each other's lives for a long time is hard for me to see right now. Part of it feels final, part of it has my insides screaming and gnashing and fighting to hold on. Can strong Saturn synastry ever NOT be binding in the long-term? LightLifeLoveWelp. After three months, he came back and things picked up as before. Then I come to find out he's had a long-distance, long-term girlfriend the entire time. He was a little strange but I definitely did not expect an entire double life...Confronted and blocked him, told her (she didn't know, either), in the process of handling fall-out now. Figured it was worth a post, as it's...kinda interesting, as far as updates go. What are some chart indicators for lying, cheating, two-timing, trifling losers again? Asking for a friend StoneMoonOh I’m sorry!Before I read your update I felt uncomfortable with your composite. It was so concentrated and many planets were just kind of left “untouched”, or disjointed in a way.As for the results- 5th house intercepted Scorpio looked like trouble, with mars in libra? Pluto in the 5th. So much energy in the 6th, which is not the most romantic house but certainly daily. But the biggest thing was Chiron in the 12th Gemini opposite Venus Uranus in sag. In the 12th we’ve got hidden hurts, wounds against institutions ( like formal relationships?) opposing a freedom loving Venus with some uranian influence?And your synastry to me looked compelling but I almost felt like you two were so similar the bond was created by this comfort, as opposed to checks and balances that could offer real growth. As for your lesson? Actually I think you were his. As waxlobster mentioned, Pluto is transiting his moon . I think you were part of this transit for him. I’m sure there is a lesson in there for you, and instinct tells me it has to do with your cap moon conjunct Neptune. Learning to distinguish people for who they really are. With his Saturn on your sun? He is a hard learned lesson in people reading. LightLifeLoveThanks so much for the response, StoneMoon! I totally see what you're saying about the composite and appreciate the insight. It's actually a bit of a relief to be looking at this from the outside now. I see a lot more.I had definitely been banking on the Chiron influence as being more healing than hurtful...so I think it's very safe to say that has a lot to do with my lesson here. The last thing I want is to become closed off and distrusting, but there's room for some stronger boundaries for sure. Lessons learned, for sure.outofideasYou have a tight Moon - Neptune conjunction. I'd like to ask how this feels for you in general? Are you very sensitive to other people's emotions and moods? If you are do you have any outlets or things that you do to 'distance' yourself?LightLifeLove quote:Originally posted by outofideas:You have a tight Moon - Neptune conjunction. I'd like to ask how this feels for you in general? Are you very sensitive to other people's emotions and moods? If you are do you have any outlets or things that you do to 'distance' yourself?Thank you for asking. Both he and the other woman are nowhere near me physically, so I think that helps when it comes to my increased sensitivity - although I am still dealing with some random intrusive thought/feelings and I question their origin because of how they arise (out of the blue and STRONG - even though I am usually even-tempered - and with insistent phrases or mental images that don't really fit in my mind). Maybe it's just emotional processing - but I've come to notice a slight difference in emotions that stem from inside me...and those that I'm picking up from elsewhere.Otherwise, I feel more numb than I would have otherwise expected, but I am also making a point to try and do the things that I know keep me grounded - lots of fresh air and space to move around, meditation if I can sit still for long enough, sticking to my routines when it comes to exercise and nutrition...I also have historically turned to art to help filter my emotions, so I'll probably start painting or writing again soon. I've been trying to further draw on the really awesome, positive connections I have in my life - but admittedly, I'm also feeling very vulnerable, and reaching out to others has been hard. I'm feeling extra sensitive at the moment, so it's a strange balance.I've always felt like my earth moon is nurtured when I focus on securing and stabilizing the tangible and mundane - it may gloss over the deeper parts in order to keep rising and building, but I like to think it's a positive angle to an otherwise ungrounded placement (thanks to Neptune's influence). It's actually the one point in my chart that causes me the most confusion, and I wish I understood how to handle it better - but there's very little written about moon/neptune, as far as I can find...ariesdragon quote:Originally posted by LightLifeLove: Thank you for asking. Both he and the other woman are nowhere near me physically, so I think that helps when it comes to my increased sensitivity - although I am still dealing with some random intrusive thought/feelings and I question their origin because of how they arise (out of the blue and STRONG - even though I am usually even-tempered - and with insistent phrases or mental images that don't really fit in my mind). Maybe it's just emotional processing - but I've come to notice a slight difference in emotions that stem from inside me...and those that I'm picking up from elsewhere.Otherwise, I feel more numb than I would have otherwise expected, but I am also making a point to try and do the things that I know keep me grounded - lots of fresh air and space to move around, meditation if I can sit still for long enough, sticking to my routines when it comes to exercise and nutrition...I also have historically turned to art to help filter my emotions, so I'll probably start painting or writing again soon. I've been trying to further draw on the really awesome, positive connections I have in my life - but admittedly, I'm also feeling very vulnerable, and reaching out to others has been hard. I'm feeling extra sensitive at the moment, so it's a strange balance.I've always felt like my earth moon is nurtured when I focus on securing and stabilizing the tangible and mundane - it may gloss over the deeper parts in order to keep rising and building, but I like to think it's a positive angle to an otherwise ungrounded placement (thanks to Neptune's influence). It's actually the one point in my chart that causes me the most confusion, and I wish I understood how to handle it better - but there's very little written about moon/neptune, as far as I can find...Hi LightLifeLove! glad to know you are doing things to make you happy...any updates?LightLifeLove quote:Originally posted by ariesdragon: Hi LightLifeLove! glad to know you are doing things to make you happy...any updates?Hi ariesdragon! Thanks for checking in with me - no updates to report. Life goes on - admittedly, dating is proving difficult. What little patience I had for men has all but disappeared...but this, too, shall pass.Perhaps I should be more astrologically strategic going forward start looking for more earthy fellas. I seem to be attracting lots of Virgos lately...waxlobsterOh dear, I'm sorry to hear it ended in such a way, but as StoneMoon says it's about looking at what you can learn from it all. Unravelling ourselves is what we do with a lot of, what I regards as preparatory relationships.It's important to mention that Saturn is now retrograde and soon to connect back up to your Moon-Neptune in Capricorn, as it did earlier in the year. Herein lies the lesson, and all of your idealism will tested, along with your more reserved tendencies, as you learn more about your Moon position overall.I don't like to regard any aspects natally or in synastry as denoting dishonesty. How we treat others is always a choice, if you study the charts of those who have committed terrible atrocities you can't actually tell. The only thing that makes that kind of thing likely is an overwhelming bombardment of outer planet transits at the same time.....which can be just as significant in the onset of major illness.The point being, we do have a choice how we choose to respond to our charts and to others, no matter what the trappings of fate dictate. Sending reiki to you, onwards and upwards hey :-)------------------blog: http://waxlobster.blogspot.co.uk/ Recent articles include how to understand Chiron, and the psychology of escapism. Also my new page is: http://facebook.com/waxyjo ariesdragon quote:Originally posted by LightLifeLove: Hi ariesdragon! Thanks for checking in with me - no updates to report. Life goes on - admittedly, dating is proving difficult. What little patience I had for men has all but disappeared...but this, too, shall pass.Perhaps I should be more astrologically strategic going forward start looking for more earthy fellas. I seem to be attracting lots of Virgos lately...ohh that sounds a little like you're taking some time for healing which is good. What do you think of the Virgo's? I find them classy LightLifeLove quote:Originally posted by waxlobster:It's important to mention that Saturn is now retrograde and soon to connect back up to your Moon-Neptune in Capricorn, as it did earlier in the year. Thank you for your kind words and also for turning my attention to Saturn. I’ve been distracted by Neptune’s impending station...honestly forgot Saturn was even doing its thing. All that time in Sag was exhausting, to say the least. I feel driven to put in some work into a number of areas of my life - but its been a tough slog lately. The idea of being tested seems exhausting at this point :eyeroll: I suppose a little more ‘nose to the grindstone’ effort won’t kill me... quote:The only thing that makes that kind of thing likely is an overwhelming bombardment of outer planet transits at the same time.....which can be just as significant in the onset of major illness.This is very duly noted for the next time I encounter some heavy outer planet transits in what appears to be a karmic dynamic - definitely the kind of thing that deserves a caution label, at least for transparency’s sake. quote:The point being, we do have a choice how we choose to respond to our charts and to others, no matter what the trappings of fate dictate. Always an important reminder - there’s power in that choice. I’m looking forward to better reconnecting with that over the next little while LightLifeLove quote:Originally posted by ariesdragon: ohh that sounds a little like you're taking some time for healing which is good. What do you think of the Virgo's? I find them classy I’m hoping to take some vacation time soon - with loved ones and solo. I think I’m gonna need it to break up some heavy work, aside!As for the Virgos...I’m on the fence. The mercurial part of me loooooves all that detail work. All that Sag? I dunno...these Virgo men strike me as either skittish or fickle or ...flighty, I guess? It’s attractive in a curious way, but it makes me a little wary for some reason.Maybe it’s just mutable earth energy. I’m used to Capricorns at work and I lived with a Taurean girl for a while...my exposure to Virgos is remarkably limited!RandallBump!RandallBump!
I was seeing this man for approx. 6 months. Our connection was solid from the jump - not quite intuitive, but very much in sync. While we had constant, vibrant conversations, we also managed to communicate so much without words. We were building an intense connection, seeing each other every other day, chatting constantly, layering our communications with subtlety, inside jokes and associations only the two of us could truly appreciate.
Our connection began to degrade towards the end of summer, while he was at home on vacation (not from this country originally). We went from daily contact to days without speaking, and while I was patient during his time away, the distance continued even after he came back. It reached a boiling point and I broke things off upon his return, out of hurt and frustration because he was pulling away. We reconciled days later.
Unfortunately, things never went back to the way they were - he cited personal issues with his family as the cause of his distance, but when I asked him to be open with me, to let me in so I could be there for him, he wouldn't. His fall-back left me exhausted (physically and mentally) - I told him I needed a time out and now, two+ weeks later, we've not spoken or had any contact and are both "on the market" on dating apps. I was on first. He joined last week.
I see the obvious parts. I see the venus/uranus trends dancing about our charts, a sun/merc conjunction and the saturn/sun DW++. I know why I can't seem to get my stubborn heart to release the one part that clings to him - I know it astrologically, and from common sense, considering that I was beginning to fall in love with him. My Cappy moon is desperate to just process, rationalize, and move it along. To the public eye, I am as unbothered as he also appears to be - but inside, I feel so deeply rejected and like I wasted half a year...for what?
I'm trying to find my lesson - but I can't seem to pinpoint it. If anyone would be willing to help me unpack things, objectively look at our charts and see what I may not...or even give some insight into sun/saturn connects, I'd be so grateful. I'm honestly a little worried about getting over this one, because I know what saturn can do...and I'd like to work with it instead of against it, for my own good. This feels just ever-so-slightly harder than past break-ups, and it scares me a little.
Many, many thanks in advance to everyone who reads and/or responds <3 This forum has always served as a wonderful resource, and I'm hoping it can help me on a personal level, now that I am finding myself unable to see the forest for the trees.
My Chart: https://i.imgur.com/oJttFtR.gif
His Chart: https://i.imgur.com/szm0aoU.gif
Synastry (I'm inside, he's out): https://image.ibb.co/ddbT36/astro_61gr_anonymous_anonymous_74167_27283.gif
Composite: https://image.ibb.co/g0m6qm/astro_62gr_anonymous_anonymous_74346_28441.gif
Davison: https://image.ibb.co/ks6vi6/astro_64gr_anonymous_anonymous_74364_29588.gif
(edit: can't forum correctly; still attempting to fix images...)
I don't know much about transits (I'm sure other people on LL could maybe help you with that?) He may be going through a tough transit that caused him to change when he got back from visiting home (Also Mars in his 4th house usually means turbulent home life, I have this and it’s true). The only problem with that theory is if he is going through a tough transit why would he be on a dating website instead of either patching things up with you or not joining and focusing on himself if he’s going through personal issues.
He has Mercury in Scorpio (myself and two of my best friends have this, we are extremely private when it comes to our own struggles) it’s also his chart ruler which you don’t aspect – I have no idea if this is significant or not. You have Mercury in extremely honest and wise Sagittarius so you want him just to be straight up with you but it's not that easy for him.
I think you should post his natal chart and that may give a clearer indication on his approach towards love and relationships and others will be able to give you a clearer indication of where things started to slide.
There are some things I see that I really like for example Mars and Mercury in the 5th house, very fun loving and childlike and both Mars’ conjunct too which I’ve read is a good thing. Moon conjunct Venus, Venus conjunct Neptune, Moon conjunct neptune very dreamy and unconditional love placements.
I have no idea why things could have cooled down all of a sudden, I guess it happens sometimes that it starts hot and exciting and then all of a sudden it cools down. The fact he only started to change once he got back from visiting home gives me reason to believe that something may have happened there and if he is going through family troubles it may take him a while to process it and get over it until he is back to his old self with you. If you really like/love him maybe, you should message him unless you are completely convinced that it is over forever. I think he would be too stubborn to message you first.
I presume they've been removed, but it would be good if you'd be willing to share the chart for a few days and give us a chance to view it.
I'm thinking that there are some major transits involved. Do either of you have Saturn transiting a personal planet? Does Saturn rule any of your angles?
The red flag I'm picking up *without* the charts is this, "I broke things off upon his return, out of hurt and frustration because he was pulling away."
Not to say I don't understand this response, but it doesn't imply you are ready to risk opening your heart enough to be in a serious relationship right now.
I would take a look at the blocks you have in yourself...? Most relationships have a reflective quality, which means that in effect it could be that it was your fears that really escalated when he was away and his distant behaviour was in response to that...?
------------------blog: http://waxlobster.blogspot.co.uk/
quote:I don't know much about transits (I'm sure other people on LL could maybe help you with that?) He may be going through a tough transit that caused him to change when he got back from visiting home (Also Mars in his 4th house usually means turbulent home life, I have this and it’s true). The only problem with that theory is if he is going through a tough transit why would he be on a dating website instead of either patching things up with you or not joining and focusing on himself if he’s going through personal issues.
From what he has said, he is definitely going through stuff. He won't share anything with me - rather, he didn't - no specifics aside from things going on with family back home. I do know he has Pluto grinding back and forth over his Ceres/Moon conjunction, I met him around his Saturn return and Saturn was also directly on his descendant at the time of our split.
I cannot fathom why he would be on a dating website unless he really didn't care about me as much as I cared about him, or he's trying to rebound...but he's given no indication of being hurt by this at all and I assume it's the former. Even when I reached my breaking point and told him I needed a time out, it was all emotion from me (granted, it wasn't particularly...gushy...but I do know how to use my words) and he was like a rock. There were points when he seemed to be aiming for levity (we always enjoyed sharing memes with one another; he started sending them mid-conversation), but that just made me shut down the conversation entirely because it felt like he was being flippant and not taking me or the conversation seriously. Then...he just never came back.
quote:If you really like/love him maybe, you should message him unless you are completely convinced that it is over forever. I think he would be too stubborn to message you first.
quote:I'm thinking that there are some major transits involved. Do either of you have Saturn transiting a personal planet? Does Saturn rule any of your angles?
He's going through his Saturn return and Saturn just hit is descendant...plus Pluto has been backing up and going over his Moon/Ceres conjunction as well as some smaller hits on his IC as of late (Libra). I don't have any major-major transits at this point (I've been through the worst of my Saturn return, Saturn will be hitting my DSC but at the end of the calendar year, and Neptune will not stop squaring my Chiron/Venus opposition...)
quote:I would take a look at the blocks you have in yourself...? Most relationships have a reflective quality, which means that in effect it could be that it was your fears that really escalated when he was away and his distant behaviour was in response to that...?
My fears were and are absolutely inflamed by the situation, you're right - I did not feel secure enough in knowing he cared for me as much as I did for him. As difficult as it is for me, I made a point of being earnest and up-front about the sincerity of my feelings for him, right up and including our last conversation - I told him I liked him too much to have a half-assed connection. He was never especially demonstrative (physically or verbally) and it was the consistency of our connection that reassured me it was real. As soon as he became inconsistent, I panicked. I did make efforts (healthy and unhealthy) to bring us back together from the moment it started to slip, but it only seemed to push him away, and I did not feel like he made *any* attempt to join me in my efforts to get "us" back. My fear is the only thing that is stopping me from outright fighting for him - if I knew he cared at all and just needed me to be strong enough to pull it back together, I'd muster some courage, but it hurts enough and my doubts are loud enough that...I gotta say, I'm afraid to even try.
You say you can't fathom how he could be on a dating site, and yet said that you joined a week before he did?
Neither of you will be able to form a strong bond whilst you are indulging in this kind of competitive behaviour. Again I¡¦m not saying I don¡¦t get it, just that it¡¦s no basis for a supportive, loving bond.
In truth though, Pluto transiting Moon-Ceres is not really the conditions in which one seeks love; rather it forms a backdrop for confronting ones biggest fears, hang ups and trust issues.
I sense you already know this and that you miss him despite this, and I feel for you. He will be colder during his Saturn Return, Saturn conjunct Descendent looks at the necessity of bonds, rather than romanticising the potential. With Moon already in Capricorn, he¡¦s not one for fanciful notions; I like that you have Moon in the same sign but, as you know Neptune conjunct the Moon brings a very different flavour and vivid to your emotional world.
Mars conjunct Mars is nice too, I like to see similarities in charts. Your Sun-Uranus conjunction is not known for its patience, but the double-whammy Sun-Saturn conjunction implies he¡¦s either around for a long time, or that the karma between you will impact you both in a way that you remember for the rest of your lives.
You¡¦ve cited fears of your own and transiting Saturn is still conjunct your Sun, you are still working through whatever refinements Saturn has pushed upon your nature and the hangover of your Saturn return. Recently Chiron has gotten very close to squaring your ASC/DSC axis, and will return in the Summer of 2018. At this point you will probably have to face the fears you have mentioned, in actuality. Natally Chiron forms a close opposition to Venus in your chart, you fear confinement and restriction probably more than anything else.
I would suggest you take up a meditation practise, or an activity which allows you gather a deeper understanding of your psyche. Moon-Neptune will take to meditation well; and I would imagine doing some past life regression type meditations will be fruitful for your 12th House Chiron. Indeed it could be that you have a career path as a regression therapist. ?
For now I would try to shift your focus from this man and send him love. With Chiron making so many ripples to his angles & planets, along with Saturn and Pluto he¡¦s going to feel very alone and misunderstood. The best thing you can do for him is prove yourself to care about him, despite the nature of your relationship. In the long run your friendship will be the most valuable connection you could have offered.
Saturn transits pass, but Sun-Saturn conjunctions do not and there is a good chance you two will choose to (or be forced to!) stay in one anothers¡¦ lives for a good while, so laying the foundations of trust and kindness are your best priority right now ƒº
I spent a good amount of my evening reflecting on your words and what they brought up. I feel as though I'm dealing with a lot of concurrent flows of energy (the breakdown of a relationship that was special to me, the deeper issues it brought to light, and trying to move on from all of it in a healthy way), which is a lot to take in but the moment of honest consideration was a gift and I appreciate your part in it. It showed me where I needed to slow down and pause for deeper reflection. It highlighted where I am most hurt by this loss. Ego hits. I don't handle 'em very well...
I feel a lot of grief, guilt, and anger (at him, at me, at things I'll never know). I still don't understand how all that was good could have turned bad - I don't have all the facts and that is so difficult for me. I suppose even the positive things I see in our charts could work against us, where buttons could be pressed. I imagine there are some transits (and some conditions in life) that just don't allow for happier endings. Maybe the heavier aspects just outweighed the lighter ones, when push came to shove. Your comments on the difficulty of transits helped expand my perspective on some of the reasons this may have happened. I guess I just wish we were both strong enough to weather the storm, together.
The idea that he could be very alone and misunderstood is heartbreaking. Although we live very close to each other, I've never run into him and have no social ties that will result in me seeing him again. During my reflections, I sent as much loving, healing energy as I could to him. I asked the universe to support him through whatever darkness cast its shadow over our time together. I want him to be loved. I hope he finds what he needs right now. I don't know if our connection is still strong enough for any of this to reach him, but I hope it does.
I know this separation is still relatively fresh - Oct 5, full moon (I didn't want to be an astro stereotype, but here we are...). The idea that we could be in each other's lives for a long time is hard for me to see right now. Part of it feels final, part of it has my insides screaming and gnashing and fighting to hold on. Can strong Saturn synastry ever NOT be binding in the long-term?
Confronted and blocked him, told her (she didn't know, either), in the process of handling fall-out now. Figured it was worth a post, as it's...kinda interesting, as far as updates go. What are some chart indicators for lying, cheating, two-timing, trifling losers again? Asking for a friend
Before I read your update I felt uncomfortable with your composite. It was so concentrated and many planets were just kind of left “untouched”, or disjointed in a way.
As for the results- 5th house intercepted Scorpio looked like trouble, with mars in libra? Pluto in the 5th. So much energy in the 6th, which is not the most romantic house but certainly daily. But the biggest thing was Chiron in the 12th Gemini opposite Venus Uranus in sag. In the 12th we’ve got hidden hurts, wounds against institutions ( like formal relationships?) opposing a freedom loving Venus with some uranian influence?
And your synastry to me looked compelling but I almost felt like you two were so similar the bond was created by this comfort, as opposed to checks and balances that could offer real growth.
As for your lesson? Actually I think you were his. As waxlobster mentioned, Pluto is transiting his moon . I think you were part of this transit for him. I’m sure there is a lesson in there for you, and instinct tells me it has to do with your cap moon conjunct Neptune. Learning to distinguish people for who they really are. With his Saturn on your sun? He is a hard learned lesson in people reading.
I had definitely been banking on the Chiron influence as being more healing than hurtful...so I think it's very safe to say that has a lot to do with my lesson here. The last thing I want is to become closed off and distrusting, but there's room for some stronger boundaries for sure. Lessons learned, for sure.
quote:Originally posted by outofideas:You have a tight Moon - Neptune conjunction. I'd like to ask how this feels for you in general? Are you very sensitive to other people's emotions and moods? If you are do you have any outlets or things that you do to 'distance' yourself?
Thank you for asking. Both he and the other woman are nowhere near me physically, so I think that helps when it comes to my increased sensitivity - although I am still dealing with some random intrusive thought/feelings and I question their origin because of how they arise (out of the blue and STRONG - even though I am usually even-tempered - and with insistent phrases or mental images that don't really fit in my mind). Maybe it's just emotional processing - but I've come to notice a slight difference in emotions that stem from inside me...and those that I'm picking up from elsewhere.
Otherwise, I feel more numb than I would have otherwise expected, but I am also making a point to try and do the things that I know keep me grounded - lots of fresh air and space to move around, meditation if I can sit still for long enough, sticking to my routines when it comes to exercise and nutrition...I also have historically turned to art to help filter my emotions, so I'll probably start painting or writing again soon.
I've been trying to further draw on the really awesome, positive connections I have in my life - but admittedly, I'm also feeling very vulnerable, and reaching out to others has been hard. I'm feeling extra sensitive at the moment, so it's a strange balance.
I've always felt like my earth moon is nurtured when I focus on securing and stabilizing the tangible and mundane - it may gloss over the deeper parts in order to keep rising and building, but I like to think it's a positive angle to an otherwise ungrounded placement (thanks to Neptune's influence). It's actually the one point in my chart that causes me the most confusion, and I wish I understood how to handle it better - but there's very little written about moon/neptune, as far as I can find...
quote:Originally posted by LightLifeLove: Thank you for asking. Both he and the other woman are nowhere near me physically, so I think that helps when it comes to my increased sensitivity - although I am still dealing with some random intrusive thought/feelings and I question their origin because of how they arise (out of the blue and STRONG - even though I am usually even-tempered - and with insistent phrases or mental images that don't really fit in my mind). Maybe it's just emotional processing - but I've come to notice a slight difference in emotions that stem from inside me...and those that I'm picking up from elsewhere.Otherwise, I feel more numb than I would have otherwise expected, but I am also making a point to try and do the things that I know keep me grounded - lots of fresh air and space to move around, meditation if I can sit still for long enough, sticking to my routines when it comes to exercise and nutrition...I also have historically turned to art to help filter my emotions, so I'll probably start painting or writing again soon. I've been trying to further draw on the really awesome, positive connections I have in my life - but admittedly, I'm also feeling very vulnerable, and reaching out to others has been hard. I'm feeling extra sensitive at the moment, so it's a strange balance.I've always felt like my earth moon is nurtured when I focus on securing and stabilizing the tangible and mundane - it may gloss over the deeper parts in order to keep rising and building, but I like to think it's a positive angle to an otherwise ungrounded placement (thanks to Neptune's influence). It's actually the one point in my chart that causes me the most confusion, and I wish I understood how to handle it better - but there's very little written about moon/neptune, as far as I can find...
Hi LightLifeLove! glad to know you are doing things to make you happy...any updates?
quote:Originally posted by ariesdragon: Hi LightLifeLove! glad to know you are doing things to make you happy...any updates?
Hi ariesdragon! Thanks for checking in with me - no updates to report. Life goes on - admittedly, dating is proving difficult. What little patience I had for men has all but disappeared...but this, too, shall pass.
Perhaps I should be more astrologically strategic going forward start looking for more earthy fellas. I seem to be attracting lots of Virgos lately...
It's important to mention that Saturn is now retrograde and soon to connect back up to your Moon-Neptune in Capricorn, as it did earlier in the year. Herein lies the lesson, and all of your idealism will tested, along with your more reserved tendencies, as you learn more about your Moon position overall.
I don't like to regard any aspects natally or in synastry as denoting dishonesty. How we treat others is always a choice, if you study the charts of those who have committed terrible atrocities you can't actually tell. The only thing that makes that kind of thing likely is an overwhelming bombardment of outer planet transits at the same time.....which can be just as significant in the onset of major illness.
The point being, we do have a choice how we choose to respond to our charts and to others, no matter what the trappings of fate dictate.
Sending reiki to you, onwards and upwards hey :-)
------------------blog: http://waxlobster.blogspot.co.uk/ Recent articles include how to understand Chiron, and the psychology of escapism. Also my new page is: http://facebook.com/waxyjo
quote:Originally posted by LightLifeLove: Hi ariesdragon! Thanks for checking in with me - no updates to report. Life goes on - admittedly, dating is proving difficult. What little patience I had for men has all but disappeared...but this, too, shall pass.Perhaps I should be more astrologically strategic going forward start looking for more earthy fellas. I seem to be attracting lots of Virgos lately...
ohh that sounds a little like you're taking some time for healing which is good. What do you think of the Virgo's? I find them classy
quote:Originally posted by waxlobster:It's important to mention that Saturn is now retrograde and soon to connect back up to your Moon-Neptune in Capricorn, as it did earlier in the year.
Thank you for your kind words and also for turning my attention to Saturn. I’ve been distracted by Neptune’s impending station...honestly forgot Saturn was even doing its thing. All that time in Sag was exhausting, to say the least.
I feel driven to put in some work into a number of areas of my life - but its been a tough slog lately. The idea of being tested seems exhausting at this point :eyeroll: I suppose a little more ‘nose to the grindstone’ effort won’t kill me...
quote:The only thing that makes that kind of thing likely is an overwhelming bombardment of outer planet transits at the same time.....which can be just as significant in the onset of major illness.
This is very duly noted for the next time I encounter some heavy outer planet transits in what appears to be a karmic dynamic - definitely the kind of thing that deserves a caution label, at least for transparency’s sake.
quote:The point being, we do have a choice how we choose to respond to our charts and to others, no matter what the trappings of fate dictate.
Always an important reminder - there’s power in that choice. I’m looking forward to better reconnecting with that over the next little while
quote:Originally posted by ariesdragon: ohh that sounds a little like you're taking some time for healing which is good. What do you think of the Virgo's? I find them classy
I’m hoping to take some vacation time soon - with loved ones and solo. I think I’m gonna need it to break up some heavy work, aside!
As for the Virgos...I’m on the fence. The mercurial part of me loooooves all that detail work. All that Sag? I dunno...these Virgo men strike me as either skittish or fickle or ...flighty, I guess? It’s attractive in a curious way, but it makes me a little wary for some reason.
Maybe it’s just mutable earth energy. I’m used to Capricorns at work and I lived with a Taurean girl for a while...my exposure to Virgos is remarkably limited!
Copyright 2000-2023 Powered by Infopop www.infopop.com © 2000 Ultimate Bulletin Board Version 5.46a
Powered by Infopop www.infopop.com © 2000 Ultimate Bulletin Board Version 5.46a